I'm All Alone...All By Myself...There is No One Here Beside Me...

“Nobody could ever understand. I’m all alone.”

There is so much danger in that sentence. I know, because I’ve uttered it, fully believing it to be true. In a way, it is true; nobody has the exact experiences, the precise same weights to bear, or the unique personal characteristics that I possess, so no other human being will ever completely understand each minute detail of my life and burdens. But in the broader sense in which it is generally stated, it is a grave untruth. Worse, it is a lie that leads to the treacherous path of isolation, self-indulgence, and bitterness.

The truth is that “no temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.” (I Corinthians 10:13) The specifics of our situations may vary greatly, but the experience of man is largely universal. Each life involves relationships, joys, pains, physical ailments, fears, stressors, work, environmental influences, learning, growth, change, housing, food and clothing, decision-making… the list of commonalities is long. Our details are individual, but the threads of our experience weave into a common cloth. Others can relate to what we’re experiencing; the question is whether we want them to have input.

On a theoretical level, most believers in Christ know that we are meant to live in community. We know that we are called to be many members of one body. We acknowledge that we are supposed to bear one another’s burdens, encourage one another, and prefer one another.

On a practical level, we avoid unity because we are afraid of rejection, are uncomfortable with vulnerability, and have sold ourselves on the lie that others can’t possibly relate to where we are anyway. We justify it to ourselves in all kinds of spiritualized ways: “I’m the [insert church pastoral/vocational role here]; I can’t share my burdens without compromising confidences.” “My spiritual authority would be diminished if people knew I struggled; I cannot be that kind of stumbling block.” “God is enough for me; I will keep my baggage between me and Him.”

Every one of those excuses for isolating ourselves, though couched in pious sentiment, amount to direct rejection of what God Himself has said. Yes, we are to take our cares to Him because He cares for us. In addition, however, we are to remember that “God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be NO DIVISION in the body, but that the members may have the SAME CARE for one another.” (I Corinthians 12:24-25)

Pastors cannot say that their church members shouldn’t know them well and be able to speak into their lives. Believers who don’t hold formal roles in a church organization cannot claim to need connection less than those who are at the building every time the doors are opened. Elderly, middle-aged, young adults, children, married, single, widowed, divorced…any segregation line that we have drawn in the body of Christ is a division that should not be!

We need one another. We need the benefit of the testimonies of those who have walked victoriously where we are struggling. We need the opportunity to rejoice together. We need to confess our sins to one another, knowing that in our complementary members of the body, we will find strength to heal and walk in wholeness once again. We were designed to give and receive freely between the members of this beautiful body of Christ.
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From one who has walked the self-righteous, self-protective path of self-imposed isolation, I plead with you: lay aside your pride. Set down your imagined reasoning for holding yourself back from the rest of the body. Allow Holy Spirit to bear witness between yourself and other believers. Trust Him to build bonds of love that will break chains you have been wearing in solitude. It’s scary at first. But you will find that His love, through His people, casts out all fear. You are not alone.